ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
