What did we do last night that was yellow?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
