I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
