I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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