I'm laying in your front yard are you home
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
