he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
