Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
