Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
