I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
