its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I need to align my fucking chakras
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
