I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm like, not good at living.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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