Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
