is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I'm really busy with my period
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