is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
She is in my trunk
i may or may not be watching the land before time
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
