i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I have aggressive nipples.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
