Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
