It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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