I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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