so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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