If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
