Its about making memories worth repressing
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Randomize
