Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
