You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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