I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I need to stop coming to work sober
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
