chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
