32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
