I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
