how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize