Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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