Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
