some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
