He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
