Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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