Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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