He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
