her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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