I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
