This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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