Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
