Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
