I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
