I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
