I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Randomize
