I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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