After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
