she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Pants are for mortals
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
