life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
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