The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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