We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
