It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
