Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
