i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
